EPIC SANDWICH! (first video)

So I decided to post one of my epic sandwiches, and I even filmed it! I've made a few of these in the past, and they're always fun to make and eat. Last year I took one of these down on my own in one sitting. This sandwich contained ham, turkey, jalepeño harvati, green leaf lettuce, hot house tomatoes, dill pickles, mini cucumber, garlic stuffed olives, red bell peppers, red onion, and spread with my homemade ceasar dressing. Pair up with a bowl of your favourite potato chips, soup and a tall glass of cool iced tea.

 

Meal Suggestion Competition

So I've been thinking, all the recipes I've posted are ones I created because I like them. But what do you like? In the comment section below (you have to follow to leave a comment) tell me what you want me to create. I will only pick one. My criteria for my choice will be as follow:

• Something yummy and creative
• Something I haven't experimented much with before
• Something easy enough for people at home to give a try BUT
• Something difficult enough to give me a challenge

The winner will get the recipe posted on the web, and a bottle of some really good hot sauce I got from Tobago. Its home-made, home-bottled, all natural and no preservatives. I bought two bottles for myself, but this stuff is so hot, its lasting a lot longer than I expected, so the other one is up for grabs.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU ALL!

-Punk Chef

Best BBQ ribs

So I think I've finally mastered the perfect barbecued pork ribs. If you follow this recipe, and use my recipe for rub and BBQ sauce, you'll get meat that falls right off the bone, with a crispy coating, and the perfect combination of sweet and spicy. I have cooked ribs in many different ways, but I was most satisfied with this method.



Pork baby back ribs (as many racks as needed)
Standard Dry Rub
Yummy-Sticky BBQ Sauce

1. The first step to ribs is the hardest: removing the membrane. Most people don't even realize there is a membrane on the ribs, but its there, and its got an unpleasant chew to it, as well as it stops the penetration of flavour from the rub and sauce. Sometimes the membrane comes off in one nice peel, sometimes it takes a long time, and sometimes its better to just give up than waste your whole time doing it. Its one of the most frustrating tasks when it doesn't work nicely, but so satisfying when it does. As its easier to show you than explain it, here's a video from someone else on the internet:
   
   This guy does a very good job at removing the membrane, and a very good job at explaining it. The membrane is also very fatty and slippery, so you can also use a pair of pliers to help get a grip. If your pliers are too dirty, just cover the end with a bit of tin-foil.
2. Once the membrane is removed, set ribs on a flat surface, and generously season both sides with your dry rub. Rub all over with your fingers, and make sure to get into every nook and cranny. I used to leave it marinating for 24 hrs ahead of time, but I discovered that if you leave it marinating for too long, the salt dehydrates the meat, and results in less tender ribs. 2-4 hours should be plenty of time for the flavour to penetrate the meat. While the ribs are marinating, leave them sealed tight in a bag or plastic wrap, placed in a dish (to keep any escaping meat juice from leaking) in the fridge.
3. Heat one side of your barbecue at minimum. Oil the grates over the side without any flame underneath using a paper towel or a silicon brush. If your barbecue is too small you might have to cut your ribs into sections, but if you have the room on your grill, leave them whole. The less surface area, slower the ribs will cook, and the more tender they will be.
4. Constantly flip and watch your ribs, about every 10 minutes, even if it doesn't seem like the side that was face down has made any cooking progress: the idea is to have both sides relatively at the same temperature. However keep the lid down as much as possible. Remember, you are cooking with indirect heat meaning there is no flame under the meat you are cooking. That means the ribs you are cooking rely on circulation of the heat within a closed environment, so if the lid's open, there will be very little heat to cook the meat.

   

   Me flipping my ribs in my 2-tone suspenders
   

5. Keep this process running for about 40 minutes, then you can start saucing your ribs. Flip the ribs just as constantly as before, but now every time you flip, sauce. Just like when you rubbed your ribs, get the sauce into every nook and cranny. This is best done with a silicon brush - fiber brushes often lose their hairs in the sauce on the ribs, and no one wants that in their food.
6. Keep flipping and saucing for another 20 minutes about, or until meat near the bone reaches 200 degrees F with meat thermometer. You can do the last flip without saucing so that the sauce already on it cooks to be nice a crispy.
7. Remove ribs from grill and place onto a cutting board. Let sit for 5-10 minutes and lets juices accumulate. With your tongs, balance the ribs on the edge, like my poor drawing in paint below:
   
   
   This makes it easier to cut along the bone, and keep the meat from falling apart. I find its easier for the concave side to be facing you. Cut into individual ribs and serve.
   
   
   
   

French Fries

One more thing to do with potatoes, french fries!

Ingredients:
Potatoes
Salt
Pepper
Canola Oil

1) Skin potatoes
2) Dice potatoes in to very thin strips
3) In a colander rinse potato strips thoroughly, until the water runs through them clear. It's important to remove the starch
4) Freeze overnight. If you dont have a freezer let them sit in water.
5) Deep fry in canola oil at 375 degree for about 10 minutes. You can use a pot on top of a stove for this but be careful not to get burned.
6) Salt and pepper immediately. For variation add garlic salt or Cayene pepper. Experiment!
7) Dont feed them to anyone else no matter how much they ask. You deserved this, you fat fuck.

This might take more time than running out to McDonalds but it's also pretty fucking awesome.


More life tips at Modern Ape.

Potatoes!

So when you're making meal, you wanna make sure you get a balance of all the essential nutrients. You need your amino acids: the monomers (building blocks) of proteins, which you can get from your meats and alternatives. You need your fats, which you can get from your meats as well as the fats you choose to cook with (butter, oil, etc.). You need your vitamins and minerals, which can be found in your fruits and veggies. And you need glucose. Glucose forms many poly-saccharides, but the one easiest to digest (and with fewer additional saccharides, which can be noted as less healthy) by a human is starch. Starch is the method plants use to store glucose, so it is found in all fruits and veggies, but in particular: potatoes and rice. I've already done a post on rice (click here to see it), but now its time to show you a few of my favourite ways of doing potatoes.

Oven-fried:

Potatoes
Olive oil or Canola oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Wash your potatoes, then decide whether you want them peeled or not (with the peel is healthier, but some people are allergic to it). Then you can decide how you wanna cut em up. You can french-fry cut em, cut into wedges or dice em into any size. The smaller the pieces, the more surface area, the shorter it will take to cook. Grease a large, oven-safe dish (pyrex, corningware, etc.) with your oil, and cover with one layer of potatoes. Drizzle some oil over the potatoes and turn to coat. Sprinkle with salt and fresh coarse-ground black pepper. Repeat this process layer after layer until the dish is full and cook uncovered at 350 degrees F. The size of the potato pieces will determine the length they will take to cook.
**If you decided to do french fries, then cook on a flat sheet, in a single layer. Avoid having the fries touch each other.**
This method of doing potatoes is yummy and healthy, and not too fattening as they're not deep-fried. Dip with your favourite dipping sauce, whether it be ketchup, honey mustard, mayo, chipotlé, ranch or my Creamy-Ceasar dressing. Mix it up with some yams or sweet potatoes. Leftovers are perfect for Sunday brunch hash browns.

Cheezy-Italian:

Potatoes
Olive oil or Canola oil
Salt and Pepper to taste
Italian herbs
Parmesan, Romano and/or Asiago cheese

Wash your potatoes, peel if desired, and cut into a medium dice. Grease an oven safe dish, and layer with potatoes and drizzle with oil, turning to coat. Sprinkle with salt, fresh coarse-ground black pepper and your choice of Italian herbs. No name brand has a bag of pre-mixed, dried Italian herbs, including parsley, thyme, oregano, basil, rosemary and others. Again stir to coat with the seasonings. Repeat this process layer after layer until the dish is full. Cook at 350 degrees F uncovered until potatoes are fork-tender, about 40 minutes. Sprinkle a layer of the cheese(s) you chose, and cook until cheese is golden on the top. Enjoy with your favourite dipping sauce (goes really well with my creamy ceasar dressing).

Creamy-Mashed:

Potatoes
Butter
Cream-cheese
Garlic - minced (or garlic powder or garlic salt)
Salt, pepper
Italian herbs

Wash and peel your potatoes, and cut up into large, even pieces. Boil in a large pot with salted water, until fork runs smoothly through the potato. Drain most of the water, leaving a small amount in. The reason for this is the water now contains starch and flavour from the potatoes, and you don't want to drain it all away. If you used a tefflon pot to boil the potatoes, transfer them to a large bowl. If you used a stainless steel pot, leave em in the pot. Using an electric mixer, beat the potatoes at high speed into a smooth, thick puree (if you do this in a tefflon pot, the tefflon layer will scrape off into your food, ruining both the potatoes and the pot). Add your desired amount of butter, cream-cheese, garlic, salt, pepper and herbs, so that it forms a smooth, creamy and delicious concoction. You can use any regular cream-cheese, but you can also use an expensive flavoured cream-cheese, like Boursin (which could save you from adding the garlic and herbs). This recipe is a little high in fat, but the taste will knock the socks off yourself and anyone you cook it for, and sure beets the the dry 'n' bland mashed potatoes you usually get.

Baked-Potato:

Potatoes
Optional toppings:
Butter
Salt and pepper
Sour cream
Green onions or chives, 1/4" slice
Grated cheddar
Bacon bits 

Wash and dry your potatoes (the drying process is very important to avoid mushiness). Wrap in tin-foil and bake in the oven at 350-400 degrees F (Temp isn't totally important here) or bury in the hot embers of a slow burning fire in your fireplace or if you're camping. If you do decide to bake em in a fire, double wrap the potatoes in tin-foil, to prevent the ash from penetrating your potatoes. Cook until skin is easily pierced with a blunt butter knife, and the inside is fork tender. Serve with your favourite toppings.
Go the extra mile and make the supreme baked potato. Once your potatoes are fully cooked, remove the tin foil and cut each potato in half length-wise. Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil for easy cleaning, and place the potatoes flat side facing up. Press down on the middle of each potato with a fork, so that its semi-mashed and its formed a sort of concave bowl. place a bit of butter in each potato, and sprinkle with salt and fresh coarse-ground black pepper. Spoon a small layer of sour cream onto each potato, sprinkle with green onions or chives, and top with grated cheddar cheese and bacon bits. Bake in the oven until the cheese is melted and slightly crispy and golden.

So there you have it. There are many ways of making delicious potatoes without using store-bought frozen fries with tons of preservatives and other unwanted and unhealthy ingredients.

Beer Can Chicken

Two beer can chickens after carving

So this is a meal for you beer lovers out there. This recipe is fairly basic, but takes a lot of time. The only trick is finding the right beer for the job. You'll also need a big barbecue with a high lid. As the chicken cooks, the beer will steam and will be absorbed by the chicken. This allows for super moist chicken. This was part of my 19th Birthday dinner, and I got lots of positive feed back from it.

1 whole chicken
1 can of beer
Olive oil
Lemon juice
Dry Rub

1. If your chicken comes with extra goodies (neck, liver etc.) remove them and do what you want with em (these come in handy as a special treat for your cat or dog). Wash your chicken inside and out with cold water. Pat dry with paper towels.
2. In a small bowl mix 1 part olive oil with 1 part lemon juice (I think one Tbsp of each should do the trick), and lightly rub it over the entire outside of your chicken. Make sure to only put a small layer of this; too much and it will mix with your dry rub to form a paste and it won't stick to your chicken.
3. Generously season and rub with my "Standard Dry Rub" with your index and middle finger joined together. If you put too much of the olive-oil-lemon-juice mixture on the chicken then the dry rub will mix with it and form a paste, and it won't stick to the chicken as nicely. The best you can do in this scenario is to mush the "paste" to flatten it as much as possible to coat the chicken.
4. Seal in a tight bag and refrigerate and allow the seasoning to sink in and penetrate the meat. I'd say the best timing for this is about 2 hours - any less and the meat won't be as flavoured, and any more and the salt will dehydrate the meat and it won't be as moist.
5. Now comes the beer. Choosing the right beer can be tough. The last beer I used for this was Okanagan Spring Pale Ale, and it worked fairly well. When heated, the alcohol content in the beer will evaporate, but everything else will be absorbed by the chicken. This is why you want to use a beer that is filled with lots of flavour (lots of hops and strong malts used in the making of the beer). Usually this flavour can be found in the colour of the beer - the darker the beer, the more flavour will probably be in it. Usually these beers are quite bitter as well (sweet beers are not ideal for this recipe, as there is enough sweetness in the rub). I would suggest ales and porters and stouts; do NOT  use a lager - they are too light in colour, flavour and are usually quite sweet.
6. Once you've chosen a beer that you're satisfied with, pour half of it into a glass. Gulp down that beer, have another whole one for good luck, then light only half of your barbecue, put the lid down and let it heat up. Lower the flame down to minimum.



Two hens on the can

7. Grab your chicken, a leg in each hand and lower it onto the beer can so that the beer can slides into the chicken. Cover the unlit part of your barbecue with aluminum foil and place the chicken standing upright on the aluminum, the can and two legs acting like a tripod to hold itself up. The reason for cooking the chicken upon the unlit part of your barbecue is for indirect heat. If the chicken is over top a flame (direct heat), it will be too hot, and the outside of the chicken will be burned while the inside remains raw.
8. Cook for 1hr 15min to 1hr 30min or until meat thermometer reads 165 degrees F in the breast, and 180 degrees F in the thigh (reference: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/the-surreal-gourmet/beer-can-chicken-recipe/index.html).
9. Remove from heat and let it sit for 10 minutes and let the juices accumulate. Carve. Eat. Enjoy.

Stupid Simple Spaghetti... and Sgeti

Another simple recipe from my kitchen... we're gonna make Spaghetti fit for a hungry kid on a budget. Also, we're gonna make sgeti.


Stupid Simple Spaghetti

1 water
250 gram pasta noodles
1/2 lb ground beef
1/2 green pepper
1/2 onion
3 cloves garlic
1/2 tomato
Some mushrooms
2 cups tomato sauce
some cheese

salt
pepper
paprika
oregano
thyme
cumin

1) Boil water and heat pan
2) Introduce beef to pan. Let the beef sizzle back
3) Peel and mince garlic, add to beef because the fat is starting to melt
4) Chop onions and green pepper, add to beef
5) Chop tomatoes and mushrooms, set aside
6) Add pasta to now boiled water
7) When beef and vegetables fully cooked, add tomato sauce, vegetables, and spice to taste.
8) Drain Pasta, mix with sauce
9) Grate cheese on top (if economically feasible)

Simple. Done. Tasty. Eat it.


Sgeti

1 water
some spaghetti
some ketchup
Your mother

1) Add spaghetti to water
2) Wait
3) Stir in red ketchup
4) Scratch head in confusion
5) Ask mom what you did wrong.

More life instructions at Modern Ape.

Ancient-Roman Dictator Dressing

So its been a while since I last posted, haven't been cooking a whole lot recently. But this is just a simple recipe that's also easy to play and adjust with to meet your satisfaction. I came up with this recipe for Chicken Ceasar Burgers, but it doesn't work so well for salad. I've also found this works great for BLTs (all sandwiches really) and a dip for your potatoes!

1 cup mayo
1/2 cup yellow mustard
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp ketchup
2-4 cloves garlic, minced
Juice from 1/2 lemon
2 tbsp Parmesan cheese (powdered)
3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
Tabasco or Louisiana or equivalent hot sauce (desired amount)
Fresh ground black pepper (desired amount)

Whisk all ingredients in a bowl. Taste and adjust accordingly. Spread, dip or dress and enjoy!

Evolution never felt so... tasty

Heres the opening to BBC's amazing documentary "Did Cooking Make us Human."

Bourgouise Breaded Chicken on Rice

Hey readers, it's Mathieu from the Modern Ape zine and blog. I cook and sometimes people like it, even though I always end up inventing new plates by complete accident. How? Why? Well, I'm cheap. I use discount ingredients and make the best plate I can with them. Does it turn out well? ...sometimes. Depends on the recipe and how "creative" I got with the procedures. If they told me how to cook it on the back of the box it will definitely turn out like it should on the back of the box... the first time. Will I post something awful? No way. Tastiness ensured. Olive oil exempt.

Anyways, I cooked this recipe two nights ago from a similar recipe I found online. But I pretty much completely disregarded the instructions, as I often do, and  made it from stuff typically in my college aged kitchen. LETS COOK.

Ingredients
2 Slices of Whole Wheat or Rye bread (toasted crisp)
4 chicken legs
1/2 onion
1/2 green pepper
4 stalks green onion
1 medium carrot
1 dream of childhood innocence
4 cloves garlic
1/8 stick of butter
dash of vegetable (equivalent) oil
2 cups rice
Salt, pepper, Cayenne Pepper, Louisiana (or equivalent) hot sauce, oregano

Directions
1) Preheat wok or large sauce pan to medium, preheat small pan to high
2) Boil 3 cups water and add rice
2) Grate bread in to crumbs, mince and crush the garlic, mix with all spices in a bowl and set aside
3) Strip the bone from the chicken leg and discard (or save for stew?). Cut chicken in to bite sized pieces.
4) Melt butter in sauce pan and add hot sauce. Coat chicken in the mix and bread.
5) Raise heat on wok and cook chicken. Add breaded mixture over top and mix it in the pan.
6) Chop onions, peppers, and green onions and the dream of childhood innocence however you see fit. Peel carrot in to slices
7) Add onions carrots and vegetable oil to small sauce pan, cooking until soft and browned
8) When chicken is nearly cooked, add the rest of the vegetables, warming them but not fully cooking them.
9) Serve all on top of rice

Serves 2. For you and a date to reminisce about what Beavis and Butthead episode was the best and why the world is broken.

I would take a picture but it would look like shit. Happy eatings!

Guest Recipes!

Hey folks, guess what? I got someone to post guest recipes! His recipes will be yummy-licious and super scrump-taculous, while using simple and cheap ingredients, keeping to the "Punk" ethics. "Creating some cheap grease that she'll still eat. Feed your fam on food stamps." Hope that gives you an idea of how awesome this is to come!
Also, check out his blog, The Modern Ape at modernapes.blogspot.com.
More posts to come, so keep checking back!

-Punk Chef

Chocolate syrup

So I figure its time I get something sweet up here. This is my recipe for real chocolate syrup. This recipe is simple, and the syrup can be used as a delicious topping on desserts, for hot chocolate or whatever you like chocolate syrup on.

1 1/2 whipping cream or heavy cream
1 cup semisweet chocolate
1 tbsp ground cinnamon
2 tsp vanilla extract

1. On medium-high heat, bring your whipping cream or heavy cream to a simmering boil.
2. Add your chocolate, I use Hershey Chip-its, and whisk til smooth.
3. Add your cinnamon and vanilla extract and whisk in. Remove your heat and serve.
4. For hot chocolate, add hot milk to your desired amount of syrup, stir and enjoy! (Though you probably don't need telling, marshmallows and whipped cream complete the awesomeness.)

Sweet Chili Thai Chicken

So this is something I came up with after I had something similar at Milestones. I did make this into something original and yummy. Full of spice and flavour, this meal will bring your mouth alive. Serve it as an appetizer or with Thai Jasmine rice as dinner.



3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
flour

EGG WASH:
2 eggs
2 tbsp milk
3/4 cup water

BREADING:
2 cups bread crumbs
1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1 tsp crushed cayenne pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
1 1/2 tsp chili powder

SAUCE:
2 cloves garlic
1 1/2 tbsp finely-grated ginger
5-8 dried red chilies
1 cup rice vinegar
1/2 cup sherry or cooking sherry
Juice from 1 small lime
3 tbsp + 2 tsp brown sugar
3 tbsp corn syrup

1 1/2 cups sliced cucumber
1 mango sliced into strips
3/4 cup sliced green onion
1 tbsp sesame seeds

1. Cut your chicken breasts into small, relatively even pieces. The size of the pieces is up to you. Place the pieces into a colander and wash with cold water. Remove from the colander and pat dry with paper towels or napkins.
2. Dredge each piece of chicken in all-purpose white flour and set aside.
3. Beat your eggs in a small mixing bowl with a whisk. Add your milk and water and beat so that all is well mixed.
4. Mix your bread crumbs with all the seasonings. I prefer to do this in a shallow pan rather than in a bowl, so its easier to bread the chicken. I made my own bread crumbs by cutting up a bun into pieces and toasting, then crushing them in a food processor, then toast them once again, but you can just buy ready-made bread crumbs.
5. With a pair of tongs, dip one piece of chicken into the egg wash and lift it out and leave it over the bowl for any excess egg mixture to drip back in. Transfer it to your bread crumb mixture, and press down so that all the bread crumbs and seasoning will stick to the chicken and mix with the flour. Flip it so that the chicken is well breaded. Set aside.
6. Mince your garlic, grate your ginger, and crush your dried chillies in a mortar and pestle. If you don't have a mortar and pestle, you can just mince your chillies. Choose the number of chillies based on your love for spice. I used 8 and it was pretty hot (a little to much for my mom to handle), but I've definitely  had spicier food before.
7. Put all the "SAUCE" ingredients into a medium saucepan or pot. Heat on high heat and bring to a boil, then reduce to low heat and simmer, stirring occasionally.
8. Now there are three ways to cook your chicken: deep fry, pan fry or oven-cook. I pan fried my chicken with a bit of canola oil. The amount of time it takes to cook your chicken will vary on the method you choose and the size of your chicken pieces.
1. If you deep fry, use canola oil and lift the basket every few minutes to see when its ready.
2. If you pan fry (which I did), again use canola oil at medium-low heat. Check your chicken every couple of minutes to see when they're ready to flip. The bread-coating should be golden-brown.
3. If you decide to cook in the oven, coat the chicken and an oven safe pan with canola oil and cook in the oven, checking to see when they're ready.
9. While your chicken is cooking, cut off 5" of a cucumber at a diagonal, then cut in half lengthwise. Slice your semi-circular cucumber, continuing in diagonal slicing so that the slices are a bit longer, and set your cucumber slices aside.
10. Cut your mango in half lengthwise and remove the pit as carefully as possible to not damage the mango. Remove the mango peel with a pairing knife, and like the mango halves into strips and then in half.
11. Place your cooked chicken into a large mixing bowl, add your cucumber and mango and mix with a spatula. Add your sauce, and fold to coat. Pour onto a large serving plate or onto individuals plates. Garnish with fresh sliced green onion and sesame seeds. Serve with Thai Jasmine rice.

Steak Hash

So for my 17th Bday, I went to Milestones, and had their Prime-Rib Hash for breakfast. I was blown away by the amazingness of this item. It was sooooo good. I found this recipe for Steak and Eggs Hash, at CHOW, a website that has helped me out sooooo much. I used this recipe as sort of a guideline for my recipe. I still haven't made this, but I'm making it tonight, and I thought it would get in the mood by posting this recipe before making it.

15-20oz of steak
2 tbsp olive oil

2-3 cloves garlic
1 medium onion
3 red bell peppers
1 1/2 cups corn niblets
1 lb potatoes
1 cup sliced green onion
3-4 eggs (depending how many people you're serving)
Salt & Pepper to season

1. Chop your onion into a fine dice and slice your garlic into fine strips. Any onion will do for this recipe, just whatever you like best.
2. Chop your potatoes into 3cmX1.5cmX1cm pieces, or into desired size. Consistency will be a necessity.
3. Chop your peppers into small, consistent pieces (about the size of 6 corn niblets)
4. Next step is choosing your steak. I suggest something thick (3/4 inch thick) like prime rib, rib eye, sirloin or top sirloin. Pick something with NO BONES.
5. Trim the fat off your steak and generously season your with salt and pepper. I like using coarse salt for this so that you can see where there is and isn't salt (fine salt disolves so you don't know whats salted).
6. Heat 1 tbsp of your olive oil in a large skillet and sear your steak at high heat, about 8 minutes for first side, and six minutes for flip side. This is for steak done to "medium" doneness. Your going to cook the steak again in a bit, so under-cook your steak to suit your preferred doneness.
7. Remove your steak and put it on a curved plate, so the juices don't leak off and set aside. Reduce the heat to medium.
8. Heat the other tbsp of olive oil in your skillet and fry your onion and garlic until soft.
9. Add your potato and press down into one even layer, stirring occasionally. Watch and make sure your potatoes don't burn.
10. Add your red peppers and corn, season generously with salt and pepper and stir to coat, cook and mix.
11. Cut your steaks in half, and then slice them into thin, even pieces. Return them to the skillet along with any accumulated juices. Stir and cook for an additional two minutes approx.
12. Mix in your green onion and devide the hash into 3-4 servings.
13. Crack an egg over each serving, put the lid back on and cook eggs to desired doneness.

Veggie Confetti

So this is my spin-off of something my uncle made at Christmas. Its super yummy, and succulent. This is great as a meat side-dish, or you could add tofu to this mixture and make it a vegan meal (never done it, so I don't know how it would turn out). This is also a recipe you can mess around with a lot. Substitute any of the veggies for ones you prefer, to make your perfect mixture, however try and keep as many colours in the dish as possible - you will get many "ooohs" and "awwwws" at the table. If you decide to not add the beets, I would add 1/2 a cup of water to replace the beet juice. Credit to mom for coming up with the name, and credit to my uncle for making something very similar for me to try out!

Veggies:
3 sweet potatoes
3 yams
2 beets
20 brussel sprouts (approx.)
2 red bell peppers

Marinade:
1 medium onion
3 cloves garlic
1 tbsp salt
2 tsp black pepper
1 tbsp rosemary
2 tsp thyme
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp parsley
1 tsp basil
1 1/4 cups red-wine vinegar
1 tbsp & 1 tsp olive oil

1. Chop up your veggies. I cut them so that they were all the same thickness, but other than that it didn't matter if the pieces were uneven, to give that inconsistent "confetti" look to it. I left the brussel sprouts whole. I peeled the beets, but left the peel on the potatoes and yams.
2. Put all your veggies into an oven safe dish (eg. Corningware or Pyrex). Make sure there is still some room in the dish to make mixing easy. I just put them into two separate Pyrexes.
3. Dice your onion super fine and crush your garlic and slice into fine strips. Put them into a bowl for your marinade. I used a brown onion, BUT I feel red onion or shallots would've done the trick a bit better.
4. Add the remaining ingredients into the bowl and mix. The herbs I listed are just examples, you can use whatever you feel necessary/whatever you have. I do recommend lots of rosemary though. I know it seems like a lot of herbs and salt, but remember this is for a lot of veggies. If you don't have red-wine vinegar, you can mix regular red wine and some vinegar (I suggest apple cider vinegar or balsamic vinegar).
5. Pour your marinade evenly over your veggies, and with a large serving spoon, mix everything together.
6. Cover tight with aluminum foil and cook in oven at 350* F for about 40 minutes. I stopped cooking them when all the juices (mainly from the beets and marinade) were reabsorbed by the brussels and potatoes. You can also check by poking the veggies with a fork to test their tenderness. Whichever testing method you choose, make sure its done quick and infrequently, so little juice will escape.

Polo Tah-dig (Basmati Rice with a crisp coating)

Well I figured since I posted Cello Kabob and suggested to serve it with rice, I should probably mention how to make rice Persian style! Rice is served with every Persian meal, and its considered more than just a side dish. Its an art, and often goes beyond just boiling. One key factor is each grain has to be separate. This is one of the most difficult processes I've ever come across in cooking, and I still have trouble with it. I've been to Persian dinners and there will be literally 3 styles of rice being served, and you better try them all. All sorts of items can be added to rice: berries, beans, legumes, herbs, spices (zaffron is very common), meat, yogurt, and the list goes on.
Now I'm probably the least cultural Persian I know, and I don't speak Farsi besides the basics. What I do know are certain dishes, or at least the general terms for dishes. The dish "Cello Kabob" is actually a style of Kabob, and the recipe I published was actually a certain type of Kabob I don't know the name of. Polo is Farsi for rice, and Tah-dig is the term for a crust of rice formed along the edges of the pot of rice. The term literally means bottom of the pot. Tah means bottom and dig means pot. Again, there are many ways of doing the Tah-dig, and many ingredients you can add to make a heartier, more flavourful and thicker Tah-dig.
The way I'm going to teach you is fairly simple in theory, but requires tons of practice until its perfect. I've made tons of bad rice, and still sometimes fuck it up. I still don't have it to perfection, the way some people can, but its a working progress.

2 cups Basmati rice
1 tbsp canola oil
1 tsp salt

I would suggest using a Teflon pot, so that the rice can slide out easily. You can use a stainless steel pot, which is healthier, but I would add a little extra oil to simulate the non-stick effect.

1. Place your two cups of rice into a pot so that it fills it up about 1/3 of the way. Add some cold water to the rice and swish it around to wash it. As you do this the water will turn a milky white colour. Strain this water and repeat this process for an approximate total of 3 times, or until the water begins to maintain translucent (it will always have some "whiteness" to it, so don't waste your time doing it forever).
2. Now comes the first tricky part: measuring the right amount of water. Don't ask me why, but EVERY Persian I've ever asked to explain how they make their rice gives me this method to measure the water. Add enough water so that when you place your index finger in the water, with the tip barely touching the surface of the rice, the water level should reach the first knuckle. Too much water can cause the rice to be mushy, and too little will result in dry, under-cooked grains.
3. Add your salt and oil, and put on high heat uncovered. Stay near the stove for this process, as a lot can go wrong. Watch your rice as its boiling. The boiling process should take around 15 min, but it can vary.
4. Once most of the water has been boiled away, you will want to do a "grain check." Pick out one grain of rice from the pot and squeeze it between your thumb and finger. The grain should be mostly cooked, but the center should still be raw, and will appear whiter. If its too raw, add a bit of BOILED water to the rice and keep on high heat until it passes the "grain check."
   **DO NOT LEAVE YOUR RICE ON HIGH HEAT UNLESS THERE IS WATER IN THE POT! - IT WILL BURN!!!!**
   If its too cooked, your rice is going to be a bit mushy, but you can avoid it by straining off any remaining water in the pot. Usually, if you've added the right amount of water, 15 min should be perfect. Remember this is a recipe that improves with PRACTICE! Don't be discouraged if you don't get it right the first, second or 10th time.
5. Now its time to make the tah-dig. First bring your temperature down to low. Then, with a wooden spoon or spatula, bring the rice on top to the center, forming a little pile or mound. This keeps the moisture from spreading too much through out the pot.
6. Now here's something you've probably never had to do in cooking: wrap your lid in a dry towel, and place it on the pot. The towel absorbs all the steam rising from the steam, so that it doesn't just hit the lid and drip back into the rice. Remember, additional moisture causes the rice to become sticky and mushy, and you want every grain to be separate and fluffy. Use an elastic to hold the towel together at the top, you don't want it to drop near the element/flame! You will want to leave this on the stove for about 45 minutes, and avoid taking the lid off as much as possible (as beautiful as it seems).
7. Now comes the fun part: serving the rice. This method I taught you will result in "cake-like" rice. Remove the pot from the heat and take off the lid. Place a plate up side down on top of the pot. Hold the plate solidly to the pot and quickly, but very carefully, flip the two together. Slowly lift the pot away from the pot. Hopefully the rice will have slid out all in one piece with the crusty tah-dig forming a cake of rice. If the rice didn't come out, flip it back the way it was, and run a knife along the edges to help separate the tah-dig from the pot. Repeat the flipping process. If it still won't flip, don't worry, you're rice should taste good all the same, you just won't have the awesome presentation to go with it. It'll come with practice!

Chellow Kabob

So its time I publish a recipe from my Persian heritage. This is one of the simpler Persian recipes, but its soooooo good. I just made this last night, and the best part: I HAVE LEFTOVERS FOR TONIGHT! This is kinda like a hamburger, xcept theres rice instead of a bun for your starch source.

1 pound ground beef
1 medium onion
2 cloves garlic
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp freshly-ground black pepper
3-6 tomatoes (according to your love for the fruit)

1. Crumble your ground beef into a mixing bowl. I suggest using lean ground beef over extra lean, as the fat adds to essential flavouring and juicyness to your kabob.
2. Peel your onion and grate it instead of dicing it. The reason for this is as you press the onion against the grater, more juices are extracted from the onion, creating sort of a mush. This results in two benefits: (1) The juices keep the meat together; (2) No onion chunks.
3. Mince your garlic and add it to the bowl along with your salt and pepper.
4. Wet your hands with cold water to prevent the meat from sticking to them. Mix all ingredients with your hands, but try not to handle it too much. The more you handle it, the tougher the meat becomes.
5. Cover a baking sheet with raised edges, as a border for the meat, with aluminum foil. Press the meat down to make a 1-2 cm thick "flat" of meat (keep in mind the meat will shrink in the oven, so make it a bit thicker than you want when its cooked). Don't worry if the meat doesn't cover the whole sheet, but the foil is necessary to keep the empty spots from burning.
6. Cook in the oven at 350*F. Cook for approximately 15 minutes, when meat is just fully cooked, but the surface still needs to brown.
7. Now comes the tomatoes. I prefer using Roma tomatoes, for their super juicy innards and weak skin. When picking these out, pick the soft ones. Slice your tomatoes in half, width-wise, and place them face-down on your meat. You can also use canned tomatoes, but add them to the meat after about 20 minutes, as they will need less time to soften (you don't need to slice these in half).
8. Cook until meat is browned along surface and edges and tomatoes are tender enough that they can be turned into paste, about 7-10 minutes (3-5 if you're using canned tomatoes). You can usually tell by the loose water having just evaporated from the pan.
9. Remove the tomatoes from the meat and place in a dish for serving. Slice your "flat" of meat into strips.
10. Serve with Basmati rice, and if you like, some plain, thick yogurt (I prefer Balkan's style yogurt - at least 6% MF). I like to mush my tomatoes into a paste and mix it in with my rice. I like every spoonful to have a bit of rice, tomato, yogurt and meat in it, enjoy all the flavours in one bite!

Mom's super simple Artichoke dip

So I'm publishing the first recipe I didn't actually come up with myself. This one belongs to my mom, and where/when/how she came up with it, I don't know, but its been a family fave. This is a standard item at our appetizer table, and is usually gobbled up in no time. Who knew something so simple could taste so good?


1 cup Parmesan
1 cup mayonaise
1 can artichoke hearts

1. Pour one cup fine grated or powdered Parmesan cheese. Add your cup of mayo and whisk the two ingredients together. 
2. Strain your can of artichoke hearts (you can use fresh artichoke hearts, but I've never done so) and cut them into quarters, and then each quarter into thirds. Cutting the artichokes too big will result in spreads without artichoke, or only artichoke. 
3. Mix them into your Parmesan-mayo mixture and then transfer to an oven-safe dish (I recommend Corningware or any other ceramic dish). 
4. Place in 350* F heated oven and cook covered in tin foil for 15 min, then remove the foil and cook for another 5 min, or until golden brown.
5. Serve with French baguette, or any other bread or cracker of your choice.

Anti-Vampire Creamy Hummus

So one thing I'm tired of is store bought hummus. Its always so bland and unsmooth. This recipe is fairly simple and will keep Edward Cullen and his crew of vampires away, so it makes it all the better! If its too hot for you, feel free to lower the garlic level.  This recipe is perfected to your desires WITH PRACTICE more than others. You really have to experiment with the ingredient amounts until you get a dish you're satisfied with. This recipe can be made a day in advance, which I would recommend if you're preparing a dinner party, you want to save as much time as possible on the day of. Just garnish it all right before serving.

3-5 cloves garlic, crushed & peeled
1 can chickpeas
2 tbsp tahini
1 1/2 tsp freshly-ground black pepper
1 tsp lemon juice (just under one lemon approx.)
1/2 tbsp olive oil
2 dashes worcestershire sauce (if desired)
2+ dashes hot sauce (if desired)

I am a huge garlic lover, so sometimes I go beyond this recipe and use up to 8 cloves. However I know not everyone is up for the heat like I am, so use as much or as little as you please.

1. Crush the garlic with the side of your chefs knife, peel and remove stems. Place them into your food processor and turn it on to mince. This saves the time of having to mince them with your knife, and you need your food processor anyhow, so you may as well save your self some time and effort.
2. Drain the water-brine from your can of chickpeas INTO A CUP OR BOWL! Set the brine aside, you'll need it in a bit. Add the lonesome chickpeas and your tahini into your food processor with your minced garlic in it. Turn on your processor and puree. Take off the lid and scrape the edges down with a rubber spatula.
3. Turn on your processor again, and as its blending, add your lemon juice, olive oil and worcestershire and hot sauce, should they be desired. I prefer to use fresh lemon juice, just make sure no seeds get in! I recommend using some worcestershire and hot sauce, but the choices are yours. For hot sauce I would suggest either Tabasco or Louisiana's. 
4. Add your set-aside brine bit by bit until you've reached a desired creamy-ness.
5. Though I did give a suggested measurement for pepper, I suggest adding it bit by bit, stopping in between additions and tasting until you are pleased with the hot-ness of it. Remember to keep scraping down the edges with your spatula.
6. When your hummus is finally to your satisfaction, pour into a serving dish and cool in the fridge to add firmness and that sharp, cool taste. Right before serving, you can decorate your dish with some fresh-ground coarse black pepper, olives, hot peppers, sliced bell peppers, whatever you want! Serve with fluffy, toasted pita. 
7. **If you've got the grill already fired up, here's an interesting way to toast your pita; apparently its very common in Greece. Brush several pieces of pita with olive oil and sprinkle with coarse salt, and toast on the grill until desired done-ness (about a minute per side before in burns).

Yummy-licious sticky BBQ sauce

One secret after another! Here's how I make my ever so good barbecue sauce. I like prefer to make it than buy it at the store with "dehydrated glutamate" and all their other super-natural ingredients. Its fairly simple. Save your old store bought barbecue sauce bottles to store the new king in your fridge for when its needed!

1 tbsp oil
1 small onion, finely diced
1-3 cloves garlic, minced (amount depends on your love for the ingredient, or your hate for vampires)
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup mustard
2-3 tbsp black-strap molasses
1-2 tbsp liquid sweetener*
3 tbsp vinegar**
2 tsp worcestershire
3 tsp Standard Dry Rub

1. In a medium sauce pan, heat your oil on medium heat. I prefer to use olive oil or canola, I prefer the flavour from olive oil, but its a bit more fattening than canola. I do not suggest using corn or sesame oil for this sauce. Once your oil is heated, add your fine-dice onion and stir til it begins to soften, then add your minced garlic, and stir for another minute or so. 
2. Add your ketchup, mustard and molasses. * Then your liquid sweetener; some options are honey, corn syrup and maple syrup. You can also use a bit of apple juice or orange juice concentrate. I like a combination of honey and corn syrup, but the choices are yours and endless. 
3. ** Next is your vinegar, I like to use apple cider vinegar, or sometimes malt vinegar. You can use white vinegar, but the flavours are limited, however it is much more sour, so you might not want to use so much. Add in some worchestershire sauce
4. Finally, use some of my Standard Dry Rub recipe. You can add the spices individually if you don't have any made, but chances are if you're using this sauce you would've had to rub something before. I also find that when I add the spices individually the sauce, I end up adding too much, and the sauce becomes too thick.
5. Should the sauce thicken too much at any point, the situation can be avoided by adding a bit of hot water. Finally whisk all your ingredients together, bring your heat down to low and let your sauce simmer for a bit.
6. Sauce your chicken and pork, or use as a condiment for dipping or in burgers!

Standard Dry Rub

So I think its time to unveil my secret dry rub! This rub is great for chicken and ribs. I also use this combination of dried spices and herbs for when I make my super yummy sticky barbecue sauce.  Usually fresh spices allow for ultimate flavour, but it has a shorter shelf life, and I like to make this stuff in large amounts and store it in my cupboard for whenever its needed. You can adjust this recipe to your preferred liking. Also i've never actually measured out this recipe, so hopefully everything'll be even.


1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh-ground black pepper
2 tsp paprika
2 tsp cumin
1 1/4 tsp coriander
1 1/2 tsp curry powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 1/2 tsp celery salt
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp mustard powder
3 tsp brown sugar

Whisk all ingredients together, and rub generously allover meat. Like it super spicy? Add extra pepper, or for an extra kick, some crushed red cayenne pepper. Remember if you're doing ribs to remove the inside membrane before you marinade!

Just getting started!

So I think its about time I got a blog. Just getting started with Blogger for now, if all goes well, I will program my own site. This site'll be everything I feel like: Recipes, Music, Trips, Plans and my ever so important life. Let me know what you think, and I'll be taking requests for new post ideas. Also, challenge my cooking skills, and ask me to write a recipe for something (keep in mind my baking is iffy, so i'll probably just send you a link to a recipe i like in most cases).